Sunday, 7 September 2014

in the middle of summer


I've been feeling a little lost for words lately, so I've abandon my blog for weeks. I really thought that August was going to be the month that I started to really get into a habit with blogging, but unfortunately life happened and I just neglected this space of the internet.

I spent the majority of the summer holidays on trains to and from Leeds with an assortment of friends and the plan to eat Asian food and walk around the city in search of the nicest smoothie. I realised that I live in the most boring place on earth and envied all the bloggers who live in the south, and their posts about their days in London. I've also found myself in TK Maxx alot lately, between work experience in June and now I have seen everything the home ware section has to offer, and laughed at some soap in a tacky box covered in cats. I walked through a field and past two men with GUNS (!!!) all for the special offer on Ben and Jerry's with my friend. I did absolutely no Spanish revision and I stressed about starting the final year of high school and having to leave and move on with my life.

I attended a party I was sceptical about and came home feeling like I loved everybody, despite my shoes being covered with mud and my hair being slightly more tangled than when I left.
It was only when I woke up that I realised it was just in the spur of the moment that I felt so content, and so I decided to make a real effort to sort myself out and be happy.

I found myself above the clouds in a metal box with wings.. if you can't tell I'm not a big fan of flying. It was worth it though because when the metal box of death landed, I stepped out under blue skies and I was surrounded by warm air and Spanish accents. The week was a blur of cold swimming pools and sun cream, and I fell asleep every night with the sound of Spanish buskers and ocean waves drifting through the window.

My happiest memories are simple things like trying every cocktail with my sister and failing at playing 'catch' in the pool, much to my brothers amusement. We also attempted to get the bus into a nearby town one day, and my Spanish (and social) skills were put to the test. Overall it was just fun.

I came home with a tan (which is something I never thought would happen) and a strange sense of serenity that only a week under the sun can provide. Then I was forced back into the land of fields and Yorkshire accents that I came from, knowing that in a matter of days it would be back to stripy ties and homework.

I think this Summer has been very average and I must remind myself to have more fun.. I hope you all had fun and have managed to settle back into regular life! Adios Amigos xoxo

Friday, 5 September 2014

little girl you're in the middle


People seem to have an obsession with categorising themselves. You're either 'this' or 'that', you love it or you hate it. It's as if the world expects you to have a strong opinion about everything, and if you don't then your opinion isn't worthwhile.

This always leaves me feeling a little confused. I am not very opinionated, although there are some things I feel strongly about, I don't feel the need to have my say on everything. While 'big issues' like the 'Pepsi vs Coke' debate are important to others, but to me it's just something I haven't put much thought into.

Maybe it's for convenience; after all, saying 'I'm an introvert' is a lot easier to say than 'I prefer being alone', and it requires less of an explanation. But I've come to realise that that is not me. There are some incredible people in the world, and after meeting them I constantly crave their company, a chance to be in their presence once again. However, being surrounded by shitty people for so long has fooled me into thinking I prefer being alone, but now I know it's not true.

I like night time, but I also like day time. I have no preference between pepsi and coke and although I love being around people, sometimes I like to be alone. I don't know what my favourite season is or if I would rather be in hot or cold weather.

It's okay to love everything, or even to hate everything. If you give the world a chance and still don't know what to think then it's okay. Who cares? Who cares if you are so complex that you can't choose which box to tick on a buzzfeed quiz? Don't focus on labelling yourself when you could be so many things.

Putting people into a box only stops them from being their own person. If you expand your mind and open yourself to both options then you never know what fun you could have.

This post is a combination of 5am thoughts and a draft I found from months ago.. I hope it makes some kind of sense.