Saturday, 11 March 2017

i went to london for two days

Last week was spent sheltered under a broken umbrella and attempting to avoid the rain I ignored on the weather app a day prior as I was packing my bag with crop tops. Unfortunately, I don't have time to report every detail of my school trip to London, but you're not missing out on any educational facts or anything.. Rather than learning about Henry VIII's life at Hampton Court, we chose to sit on the heated floor to avoid the arctic temperatures outside. Just thought I'd share some pictures to avoid neglecting my blog fully this month.

I don't have a playlist today because I've only been listening to Childish Gambino's new album "Awake My Soul" for the past two months. 

See you soooooon when I'm not drowning in coursework. 

Monday, 23 January 2017

My 2016 playlist

My 2016 recap was so long that I decided this playlist required a post of its own. Of all the music I've raved about this year, these songs are my most played and probably the ones I'll listen to with nostalgia in later years.

Although few of these songs were actually released last year, they just happen to be the ones I listened to the most. I hope you enjoy my least organised, most randomised playlist yet!


2016 was honestly one of the best years of my life, albiet with some of my worst moments mixed in. Within those 365 days I experienced more than I imagined I would, both incredible and unfortunate, which ultimately resulted in one of my most memorable years yet. Unlike my round up of 2015, this post includes multiple photos of me (weird) which hopefully reflects the confidence I've gained within 2016 and not vanity!!! 

What did I do?
  • Quit the job that had become the bane of my life (and believe me I was not "just quitting" out of laziness)
  • Exams and coursework.. if I could use emojis on my blog I would reflect my feelings on this subject with the dead face.. or perhaps the gun. 
  • Visited so many UK cities visiting universities 
  • Attended a Channel 4 event!!! 
  • Visited the Isle of Skye and Portugal 
  • Spent endless hours with my friends laughing until I cried
  • Began my last year at college
  • And so much more that I don't want to bore you with any longer.

What didn't I do?
  • get to college on time
  • blog..........
I am truly grateful for the happiness I experienced during what most have called "the worst year ever". Despite the negatives that also entered my life, I have somehow remained positive and happy, something I can mostly credit to the incredible people I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by. Re-visiting old blog posts reminds me how dramatic I was at age fourteen (four years ago?!?! how :(((() and how negative situations had the ability to affect me enormously. Fortunately along with the four birthdays I've had since then has come maturity and I finally know I can survive this (thanks Destiny's Child... did I mention yet I saw BEYONCE?!?!?).

Hopefully 2017 is equally as memorable, for the right reasons. Love to you all and happy belated New Year!

Sunday, 8 January 2017

the edge of seventeen

I began blogging just weeks after my fourteenth birthday, publishing my absent thoughts to a non existent audience, accompanied by a bad photo of some lip balm or my favourite body spray. Although my life has changed drastically since then, blogging remains the one constant and I'm endlessly thankful to my former self for choosing to document my teenage years. Looking back on posts from 2013 is painfully embarrassing, but I'm glad I gave myself the chance to watch as I grew up, through my blog, as it has now become such a crucial part of my teenage years.

In one hour, I turn eighteen.

It would be impossible to sum up the entirety of my emotions into one blog post, but for the sake of trying, I am: excited, scared and happy. My childhood has officially vanished, and suddenly I am supposed to grow up. I can now vote, drink, buy fireworks, apply for a mortgage, get married, get a tattoo and become an organ donor. It's as if all of a sudden, the keys to life have been handed to me despite the fact just yesterday they were out of reach.

If all goes to plan, 2017 will be the most important year of my life so far. I will turn eighteen, finish my A levels, move away from the town I've lived in my entire life and go to university... SCARY. I hope to continue documenting my life through this blog (maybe more consistently this year...) as I've done for the past four years. Everything from prom to my morning bus playlist has been published on this little space of the internet, and I am so happy about that.

For the past four years I've done everything to avoid posting photos of myself on this blog but today it seemed necessary. Me at seventeen, something you will never see again (lol fml).

Lately I've been listening to Kids In Glass Houses (what a throwback to year 7) and Modern Baseball on repeat, but I think only one song is appropriate today.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

thoughts during chaos

Photographs. My teenage insecurities, printed on glossy paper, worn from years of being blu tacked to the walls or hidden beneath old christmas cards in boxes under my bed. A constant reminder of a time my days weren't plagued with the responsibility of university applications or the pressure of coursework deadlines. My bedroom walls lined with images of innocence as I sit between them and contemplate whether I'm actually ready to leave home in less than a year... the answer seems to be no. I have spent a lot of time feeling as though my childhood is not complete, as if I'm still waiting for something to happen. Yet, the more I consider this, the more I realise that as I wait for something amazing, I ignore the turbulence, sadness, joy and weirdness that have made my teenage years so memorable and great. 

It seems that I, along with everybody else, have been on a life long search for something extraordinary, never found gazing at flecks of paint in the louvre or standing before the ocean with my feet in the dirt. Thousands of postcards and dull holiday snapshots and yet of all the seven wonders in the world I am yet to find one comparable to the sunlight hitting the kitchen tiles of my grandparents house. Sometimes the most incredible thing you witness isn't heralded as a landmark, but is just something you pass on a car journey.

I've mentioned this before on the blog, but I'm constantly finding that it is the unexpected moments I am truly happy in. Never have I looked back on my year 8 school trip to Paris with nostalgia at how ecstatic I was in Disneyland, but occasionally I think of how fucking hilarious it was to sit in a shitty bunk bed with my friends. I wouldn't care to re-visit prom, but if I could I would exist once again in a year nine english lesson, complete with braces and all the general awkwardness I felt at the age of fourteen. Maybe my sixteenth birthday was boring, but a random tuesday afternoon at college could be one of the happiest moments of my existence (unlikely tho..). 

Sometimes beauty is artificial. Although the ocean and the moon and mountains are deserving of their breathtaking abilities, I cannot deny the pure happiness of seeing the crumbling bricks that frame my home town, or the peace within the clothes scattered on my bedroom floor. Perhaps my new found adoration of my surroundings has been triggered by the sudden realisation that soon I will have to leave it all behind, when truthfully I do not feel ready at all. 

So, if you can't tell, the past few weeks have been stressful. However, I feel as though I'm handling it better than expected... despite the neglect of this blog again, but I think right now I have real excuses.

This playlist is perhaps my most unexpected yet... I never anticipated that Adele would feature on my blog but here she is! Lately I've found comfort in a wider range of music, resulting in these ten songs which perhaps wouldn't fit together anywhere else. I've also found myself listening to My Chemical Romance again, for the first time since I was like twelve or thirteen and an obsessive... it feels good. (also been playing We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart on repeat.... but didn't think it would fit). OHHHHH and I'm not a Lumineers fan, but this music video is beautiful.

Saturday, 15 October 2016

songs for the way home

Last week's playlist was designed to lift your mood during your commute to work/college/wherever you go in the morning, so it only seemed appropriate for this one to be dedicated to your journey home. Specifically, if you've had a particularly difficult day and find yourself collapsing on the bus, with only enough energy to press play and lose yourself in the music.

'Lisbon' by Wolf Alice is one of those songs that had an instant, almost magical, connection directly to my brain. It's easy to fall in love with a song, but occasionally a combination of chords or a specific lyric just instantly grab your attention, and Wolf Alice seem to be masters of this.. or at least for me. EVERYTHING about this song I love, it's possibly my favourite from the album. Sooo perfect for those angsty teen days where you "feel like going out and smashing windows"..... amazing. Also, I know I already raved about both Wolf Alice and Modern Baseball, but they're SO GOOD so I had to include 'Your Graduation'. Honestly the kind of songs I need during my final years of being a teenager (or months if being eighteen technically makes you an adult?!?!? help).

You've probably already head "Alaska" by Maggie Rogers by now, but if not, allow me to introduce you. This video is the main reason her music suddenly gained so much attention, but she is endlessly deserving of it all. I could honestly write about this song all day but the best way for you to understand is for you to LISTEN!!!! 

Michael Jackson has featured in every playlist so far on the blog, and will probably find a place in all future playlists. I can't help it, I love MJ. It is undeniable that he was an incredibly talented artist who successfully mastered his craft, meaning that his songs deserve a place on my spotify account. A day does not pass without a little bit of Michael Jackson, making it impossible for me to narrow down only one song a week.... but Dirty Diana is a classic. (It was between that and Stranger in Moscow).

Oh and I'm not going to write about The End Of All Things because I already have an entire post about it!

This week will be my last week of term which is a relief but also incredibly stressful as it means first draft deadlines for coursework. Hopefully during my week of freedom I'll be able to find time to write multiple blog posts. There's so much I want to write about lately! My aims are to FINALLY fill the photo frames which have been empty for the past three years in my bedroom and to make these cinnamon rolls. I am also banning myself from updating this blog until the first 1000 words of my history coursework have been completed so.............. see you then.

Friday, 14 October 2016

the club kids

I don't quite remember how my fascination with the Club Kids began, but I vaguely recall a 4am epiphany in my hazy, high on exhaustion and caffeine state of mind, as I realised I was obsessed.

Perhaps it's my upbringing in the most normal (i.e boring) place on earth that causes me to be so intrigued by the eccentric youths running around New York City, wearing intense make up typically reserved for film sets or halloween. They make me slightly ashamed of my lazy college attire, and wonder if I should trade my oversized denim jacket for a floor length fur coat.... not today.

Outlandish outfits, the ‘cool kid’ vibe and an endless supply of drugs. The Club Kids ruled New York’s nightlife and fashion scene during the eighties and nineties. While grunge was becoming significantly more popular, these youths favoured glamour and style over dirty band t-shirts and ripped jeans. They craved second glances and shocked murmurs from often disapproving crowds in the supermodel era when fitting in was viewed as cool. The Club Kids were the epitome of eccentric, going about their day to day life in lingerie and a floor length fur coat. Feather boas, jackets covered in sequins, platform heels and clown make up were just part of the uniform as the pack paraded through New York City clubs, completely aware of how in awe everybody else was of them.

The Club Kids were a band of pirates, some chased from their home towns for being too strange, others living off the life savings of successful parents. Yet somehow, they all wound up in the same place at the same time, with the same passion for all things strange.

Imagine the most shocking costume Lady Gaga ever wore to an award show. The Club Kids could make it look like Topshop basics in their most casual attire. The innovators of being famous for being famous, (way before Paris Hilton) they were almost cartoonish and completely unreal, making it impossible to look away. When observing modern day fashion and celebrity culture, it is obvious that this gang out outcasts are to blame for most of it.. so why are they almost forgotten in the fashion industry they so heavily influenced?

Unlike the current trend of rich kids, club kids couldn’t display their costume-like attire on instagram for the world to see. It was something you had to either experience in person or the next day on a faded copy of New York Times. Prior to the internet, word of their antics was spread purely through gossip, creating a sense of mystery surrounding them. Perhaps it is the lack of documentation of the club kid reign that prevents a legacy that is shouted from the rooftops, however it seems to run deeper than that.

Fashion wasn’t the only obsession of this clan, they also worshipped drugs and fell quickly into addiction purely to keep up with the fast paced New York nightlife. While society tends to favour squeaky clean stars who’s reputations remained untarnished, the Club Kids thrived on danger which spiralled out of control dangerously. The friends who once seemed inseparable now being torn apart by drug abuse and the pressures of a constant public spotlight and speculation.

Tragically, a story which begins with bright eyed teenagers trying to make it in New York ends in murder, a prison sentence and adulthood. but where are they now? the fate of the club kids isn’t as romantic as they had possibly hoped for.. although perhaps the lifetime without drama and isolation from normal society is exactly what they planned.. if so they succeeded with prison sentences. Maybe the catastrophic ending was appropriate.. Maybe the most tragic thing that could have happened would be for the glamour and attention of club kid culture, to be traded for nuclear family life. 

The story of the Club Kids is one that begins with light, as a band of misfits find comfort in each other and revel in the attention their wild attire gains them.. yet the end of their era is one that is so tragic and shocking, it overshadows their vibrant past. (I plan to write about this soon).

However, even though their reign has ended, their legacy hasn’t. While nudity, scandal and the shock factor may seem almost boring in modern pop culture, as celebrities compete for tabloid attention, it wasn’t always this way. These young adults figured out how to get your name on peoples lips and since then every celebrity has mimicked it.

Perhaps the love for club kids is due to what the represent: youth, creativity, confidence and carelessness, qualities craved and longed for by so many.

I would love to write more about the club kids, and I'm currently considering a feature on each of the key members, as well as the story of how their reign ended. So..... stay tuned?

(The majority of this post was written as part of my creative writing coursework)
Photo sources: 1234567